Holy Hairy Harlequins! by Linda Ann Nickerson

Holy Hairy Harlequins
Bone-Chilling Bounty in Belleville

A Scary Short Story

Are you afraid of clowns? How about spiders?

These are not trick questions. Actually, these questions appeared atop a printed flyer the local schools distributed right before Halloween.

My children came home from elementary school on October 28th, simply buzzing about an impromptu all-school assembly focusing on stranger danger and first aid for spider
bites.

What web of mystery engulfed our quiet suburb?

The Skin-Crawling Tale

The last week of October, shoppers snatched the last masquerades from local Halloween costume shops. At the same time, the crime squads of Belleville gathered behind closed doors to plan their attack. Based on witness reports, something creepy was afoot.

Don Teller, the grizzled desk sergeant, had fielded the first call.

"We didn't hire a clown for our Halloween picnic this year, but one showed up," Mrs. May Bellows recounted. "At first, we thought it was a joke. She blew up a few balloons and created spiders from them. Then the real spiders appeared from under her frock. The spindly striped spiders crawled all over the children. We're afraid they might be poisonous."

According to Mrs. Bellows, the puzzling performer then cackled loudly and disappeared over the backyard fence.

"I'm not sure what charges might be filed, Ma'am," Sergeant Teller replied," but we will certainly look into it."

Several parents raced to the Belleville Memorial Hospital emergency room with their children, complaining of spider bites.

Within the hour, the Belleville police station switchboard shut down, overloaded with incoming calls. The crime-stoppers email address became clogged with messages reporting a crazed clown and a slew of spider bites at Halloween parties all over town.

The Belleville Post tagged the mysterious perpetrator Spiderclown, printing an artist's rendering on the front page the day before Halloween. The banner headline read...Go here for the rest!

"Smarter" by Mike Hatz...just in time for Halloween!

Smarter
The fading light of the setting sun barely illuminated the filthy little motel room on the outskirts of town. Occasionally, the throbbing orange light from the annoying neon sign in the parking lot would lend a intermittent splash of fiery glow on the dingy bedclothes. The old,
tarnished doorknob rattled and turned with difficulty until the door finally forced open. A trio of rural south Georgia cockroaches fled the harsh yellow rays of the naked 75 watt bulb as a hairy, simian hand flicked the switch by the door.

Possum and Fish-head walked in with the monstrous sack of greenbacks of varying denomination, and spilled them out on the lopsided queen bed before closing the door behind them. They both stared at their stolen booty with great satisfaction. Possum was the mastermind of the plot to knock off the ol' widow Jenkins and take her hoard of cash. It was actually quite easy, though, since the old woman had no living relatives or any close neighbors; just the 25 cats that made her house smell like the world's biggest litter box.

"Lock th' damn door, ya dipshit!" Possum yelled to Fish-head, "Jesus Christ, do I have to think of everything?" Clearly, Possum was the brains of the outfit, with his six-foot-eleven, three-hundred pound, mildly retarded younger brother Fish-head doing the muscle-work during their almost lifelong career in petty crime. After a few successful armed robberies, they gained enough confidence to pull their biggest
...Go here for the rest! Happy Halloween!