Jun 7, 2012

Imonbrinsomwoopassupinhyah!; Keeping your pie-hole shut on Facebook

COMMENTARY | When I first heard my daughter on Facebook asking my ex's new hubby how old he was, because that's what it takes for him to feel big, to go (censored) herself, I admit to all sorts of emotional responses - we'll not discuss here – and all sorts of suggestions for comment came up...I wanted to rant.

Knowing, however, this was my daughter's page and might someday, in some way, affect her chances at employment, kept my typing tongue in check. A wiser man than I recently told me: “It's sometimes not what you say, but what you don't say, that means so much.” Since that simple glimpse of just a few words so altering of my behavior, I've noticed there's something to be said for staying silent on Fb – as well as any other site too. There's power in shutting the f*ck up, at least every now and then.

Any discussion, along with every word, will be marketed to any sort of company or sponsor at all. Not all of those sponsors will be companies wanting to sell you a product or service. Some of them could be anything or anyone from researchers to government agencies wanting information about you and/or any group of individuals. We Americans are volunteering up our information to everybody.

Even more importantly, though, soon there will be a resource for anyone, anywhere to know anything and everything about you at any time in your life. Even if you “set your privacy settings” in the most paranoid style, you're still wide open and fair game to data marketers. Do I really want to throw such data about my daughter's life, out there to data marketers?

I asked concerned family to delete their comments. My daughter also wisely deleted her comment – but not until I caught a screen capture.

I also won't deny what I think of this guy, my ex's new boi. I don't like how I hear he talks to my kids. I've accepted that it's not my say who she chooses. She has the right of prerogative, after all. There's nothing I can say in relation to that and wouldn't use the prerogative if I had it. Who on earth would want to control another's intimate life anyway? But I don't like what I hear he says.

It just seems to me, mom might just be the biggest risk the new guy faces, should he make any sort of errors in judgment in his treatment of his step-daughter. She and I might not have made the best of couple, but there's no doubt she's a mother bear over those kids. And she's not alone.

This poor guy has no idea of the level at which he's out-numbered. Let him mis-judge his place or behavior with our four children and let's see how long he might enjoy his little indoor vacation. He'll never be able to say I've threatened him with violence. I just want him to know justice itself would exact its price for any bad choice he may make. If it's the only thing I might ever do as their dad, I'd see he pays the utmost possible.

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