The Strangest Dream - How Much Better Does It Get?

Here it is, nearly 4:30 am as I write this. I recently awoke from the strangest dream, unable to get back to sleep and not really feeling as if I need to anyway. I've started a new mantra of saying, “How much better does it get?” instead of worrying about how much worse it can get and it seems the shift in thinking has my brain telling me some previously unrealized information. (Thanks for the mantra, Eli Rook.) I highly recommend using this new phrase.

In my dream, I find myself walking around a strange town looking for work. At one point I notice a particular character following me as I go from business to business, where I ask them if they need window-cleaning services. As I leave each place, this character is outside of each place, just waiting.

As I go through the town I cut across a muddy field to get to another business strip. But along the way, this character finally approaches and somehow tricks me into his home. (Ever notice how in dreams you sometimes do stupid crap for no explainable reason? Oh DMT. You are such a trickster.) In his home, I find myself a prisoner and being physically assaulted. At first, there's only this one character. Three others show up later but we'll get to that.

This first guy somehow has me down on the floor and even though he's obviously weak, he's doing his best to beat me. I'm not really scared – more hesitant to hurt him than anything since he's obviously pretty weak. But after I've had enough I find myself fighting back. With his next punch I grab each of his arms and just snap them. Then I grab him and bite him on his lateral abs, just beneath his ribs (Yeah, because that's how I roll in the non-dream world too, don't ya know. LOL!)

He immediately begins protesting, asking me why I'm hurting him. As if I'm wrong somehow for defending myself against a wannabe violent, sadistic kidnapper. I give him one more solid punch right in his whiny mouth with every ounce of strength I can muster - all the rage I can summon. He disappears immediately and I am again calm.

Next, three of his associates/friends enter the room. Two of them are silent but supportive of the third who is very obviously an “authoritarian” sort. I come to realize in my dream (while still not realizing this is all a dream) that, just like the authoritarian type represents those who like to bark out orders and be obeyed, the other two represent the passive/aggressive coward types you can almost always find orbiting around dominant personalities.

The authoritarian type tries to keep me sitting in the bath-tub. (Bear with me. Remember, this is a dream. How I ended up in the tub makes no sense to me either. Odd things happen in dreams.) I tell him, “Come on man. I gotta take a dump.” (Forgive me for that image please. Dream, remember?) He says, “Alright. You can get up for number 2.” (This is when I realize that this is something stemming from childhood, rooted to abusive personalities I encountered back then. Why else would the "number 2" reference be used?)

But in getting up, I decide to go ahead and fight. (This is where it gets really strange. If you have a weak stomach, quit reading now. I mean right now. Stop. Go away. Okay, you've been warned.) Since there are three of them, I have to use what's available. Being, somehow, in the nude and weaponless (Not even a towel-bar on the wall – oh they make lovely weapons) I decide to use what I have available – feces, as disgusting as that sounds.

I smear it all over my body to be as offensive and as distractingly disgusting as possible. I then tell the three, “I'm leaving. Don't try to stop me. The first one of you who does – no matter what else happens to me – I'm taking him out. This will be that man's last few breaths. I promise you. Who's it going to be to die today?” They leave me alone and I make my escape, naked, covered in feces, but glad to be free. This is when I wake up.

I see all sorts of symbolism in this. Of course, we have the emotionally manipulative. They attack and then try to use “guilt” as a defense to discourage defense. I'm guessing I first encountered this one since I recently shook off a false friend who used emotional manipulation to control the behavior of others. Thanks Drew, for helping me realize what I must.

The extreme measures to fight off the authoritarian and his pets (Yes, you passive/aggressive types who play sycophants to your authoritarian masters are little more than pets to them. Let that thought sink in you fucking loser wimps. Haha) came from the knowledge that they fight dirty and always out-number their targets. Covering myself in feces is my way of realizing I might have to make myself look bad in order to defeat them/escape. But it's worth it. I'd rather look bad to others who don't know the back-story than to take one more goddamned second of abuse. In my waking life, I'm not sure if authoritarians and abusers have any clue what's in store for them the next time they ever try fucking with me or any of my friends ever again.

The emotionally manipulative, the passive/aggressive and the authoritarian abusers have held me captive for a long time. At 42, I see now that I've been subjected to their sadism all of my life. Family, “friends,” random strangers, all of them have done me wrong for no other reason than that I let them. Ultimately, I'm responsible for my own abuse because like the first character, I followed them thoughtlessly into their den.

I will enjoy the crocodile tears of the emotionally manipulative. The authoritarian will find their abuse shoved back in their fat faces and they will never lay another of their ham-fists on me again, figuratively or literally. As for their little sycophant fucking pussy friends? They'll not only get a fight out of me, I'll show those cowards what embarrassment and shame is all about. I'm liking this new me. It's about time I came along. How much better does it get? We shall see.

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Pain management an issue?

So...what do you do about co-workers?

I've a lot of fellow writers. lots!

Most of them...and by that I mean 99% of them...are just lovely. Wouldn't trade any of 'em for the world!

But there's a small group of some of them that are so crude, nasty, and vicious, that they more than likely snarl when they tell someone thanks...if they're capable of saying thanks.

While here on the web, there's an obvious variety of types of people to interact with, and most can at least be negotiated with. But some are so tiny-brained, thoughtless, crude, rude, vicious, and ignorant, that it's all but impossible to communicate with them.

Every website, company, or group has a clique of these bitter-hearted types. And anyone wanting to write on the web needs to be able to identify these losers from a block away.

I'm not going to mention this pile of sh**heads by name. They know who they are. I do sorta hope they come over here and identify themselves by their vicious actions. They were dumb enough to do it before...so one can only hope they didn't learn anything from the last time. I hope they do because this time they'd need to go blatantly out of their way to make an attempt at being libelous and vicious. And I gots a leetle surprize for them when they do.

Let's look at a couple, or more, of their favorite strategies. Shall we?:

• 1)They attack and then deny the attack. It's not a lack of social graces when they do this. It's their strategy. In fact, shy of other forms of dishonesty, it's really the only trick they know.
• 2) They gang up. They're simply not strong enough on their own. So a few of them make all the noise and raucous they can, whether what they're saying is honest, logical, or whatever, and they continuously dogpile. They just can't handle a one-on-one fight with anybody. A$$holes...I mean wolves...always travel in packs. You can always tell who, out of groups like this, is the 'big dog,' and who is just one of the followers. Remember the old-time cartoon image of a big bulldog, and the runty little companion, who hung out with him because it was the only kind of strength he could muster? Yup. There's usually a good three or four little sh**s, running around the feet of 'big dog.' They're comically weak like that on their own...weak and pathetic. Ha!
• 3) They get way too personal. Once an enemy is identified, and a weakness is painted, these losers like to try to go for blood. They'll make comments about your kids. They'll make cracks about whether you're sane (in fact...these idiot f**ks can't resist such bait. If these sh**lickers think they can really drive you to suicide they'll try to...and then they lie about it later of course. Lies are all they know. Too bad they can't recognize when they've taken bait.) Their joy is seeing people in pain which leads to the next strategy...
• 4) They portray the "innocent soul" bit...at first. Then when they get disagreed with you get to see their true colors. There's usually some sort of a reference to 'being a Christian' or equivalent bulls**t religious smokescreen. This isn't to say that everyone who exhibits symptoms of Christianity are like this. It's simply to indicate the simple dishonesty of a wolf in sheep's clothing. Real religious devotees will recognize what I just typed. This clan of wild pigs will maybe use it in an attempt to label me as slamming on Christians. It's that 'problem' they have with 'honesty' again. There's just no truth in them.
• 5) They exhibit no social graces and then chalk it up to being 'plain-spoken,' or some other similar term, when in truth the 'plain-spoken' types are quite courteous. It's all just part of the 'attack and deny' schematic. Remember: Dishonesty and viciousness is all these folks understand.
• 6) Rather than discuss any points of anything...all they do is attack the person. They do their weak-hearted best to attack an individual as opposed to discussing the points, merits, or demerits of any topic. Their one and only hope of victory is to have enough of the intellectually lazy around them who agree with particular buzz-words used.

This list is by no means exhaustive. It's just a few of the more readily recognized signs.

With any luck, one or two will come to this page and "ragragragrag" about how terrible and awful I am. Maybe they'll go for the "mental health remark" approach...again. Maybe one of them will come over and make a crack about my kids...again. (Yup. I'd love to talk to that one eyeball-to-eyeball...f***ing coward) Whatever the approach they take it won't be to talk like a human being. They're not human nor strong enough, to do that. These f**ks can only respond like animals.

You can also bet, dear reader that, they won't be using their real names. That would be too honest. And they surely can't be that dumb. Can they? I sorta hope so. I could use the page views.