He'll guarantee payment of my funds ro me!

Well, he finally replied. I was hoping for a little bit more of an exchange before he went for the jugular. But, seeing how old and tired of a bait he uses (inheritance from a Nigerian relative) I'm not too surprised he isn't a little more unique.

A few minutes back, I get this message in my inbox:

Dear Dad.

Your mail has been received. I am giving you 100% guarantee that I will help you to get your over due funds if you follow my directives.
Please fill out the space below and forward back with the payment of $240 dollars through western union.
Send the money with the name below.

NAME: IYKE OKAFOR
ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA.
QUESTION: WHO IS GOOD.
ANSWER: MY GOD

1} Your Full Name
2} Your Phone and Fax Numbers
3} Your Company Address and Position
4} Your receiving bank details were the fund worth $15,5million dollars will be transfer.

As soon as this information are received, with the western union Mtcn your approve payment will be made to you in a smooth wire transfer through central bank of Nigeria.
Call me on my direct telephone number Tel: +234-708-840-8001
Regards,
Mr David Jabi.

To which I reply:

I'll be glad to follow those instructions.

Of course, seeing as you probably knew him, please share with me your favorite story about him. I so miss those days. It was a great loss for us all. And oh, I do love the old stories.

This is, of course, so I also have the assurance of knowing you are legitimate. Please share a story about him with me. It's not so much for security purposes, but also to warm my heart.

Thank you.
-Dad Anus
****************************************
Of course, at this point, our exchange is probably over. I'm just comforted in knowing I've wasted the time of a criminal trying to scam someone. I'm rewarded by knowing I've got his hopes up, and only wish I could actually taste his tears of frustration.

But, then again, I sorta hope he comes up with a story of my deceased...oh holy hell...is this my uncle or what?

Just to be on the safe side, and to keep the exchange going, I'm also sending him this message:

Y'know what? I hear bad stories about Western Onion. I'd feel a whole lot safer just sending you cash.

What address might I mail that monies to?

(Yes. I said "ONION" and "that monies." Ha!)

This post is a continuation of the story which began here.