1. Don't “add up fouls” or “keep score” over infractions of the family's “respect” policies or other incursions of marriage rules. If you feel the spouse has wronged you on something, speak up about it. Not complaining and setting bounds isn't some mystical “showing of respect.” Speaking freely and communicating openly is the highest form of respect and decency. Noone need wait until they're angry to speak up, ever. If you're partner has a problem with this feature of your personality, you might want to re-think things, now.
2. If the spouse has a person in their lives who they are not close to, or do not trust enough – for whatever reason – with discussions, conversations, or other relations, do not discuss your partner with said individual. Trust and respect are like bank accounts where withdrawals cannot be replaced by future deposits. If there is anyone in your spouse's life they choose to avoid, or do not like for any reason whatsoever, seeing you associating with this person will be seen as fraternizing with “the enemy” on an emotional level. Your partner needs to be able to trust you for backup in any situation. Show them you're on their side. If you're not, then, re-consider being married to them.
Starting on building a venture like a happy marriage, is similar to many other joint ventures a person might take on in life. Just as all joint efforts and partnerships require care from all parties involved, so too a marriage needs to have consistent, reliable effort from both parties. You'll both have plenty-on-the-plate as it is. But remembering these two points will aid in the growth process which is a happy marriage between two people.
1 Whaddya Think?:
I does take a LOT of very hard work and trust to make a marriage a strong one! Great post.
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