When we last left our little buddy, I was of the impression Dum-dum was on to me. He may well be (I sent him my blog address after all). But if he is, he doesn't seem to understand English, because I've been getting some wonderful little responses from him.
After my last message to him, wherein I came clean, I had been not logging in to my spoof email, because life is busy. So, I was unaware of his responses. Then I checked, and Lo and Behold - There he was! I've never been so glad to see an idiot before.
But I still wanted to build up a little action before reporting back to you, dear reader. So, here's our latest few exchanges, with no editing, and a few back emails to bring noobs up to speed. (Yes, I'm writing all crazy and shit. It's all part of messing with an idiot):
Dnia 23 marca 2011 17:46 Dad Anus
I really want to collect on my uncle Richard's inheritance. Please, we can do this the easy way, and you send me that postal mailing address.
There's no need to bother with Western Onion, and cash is not traceable. Like I said, I'm willing to pay extra, for your trouble.
Please get in touch with me as soon as possible.
-Dad Anus
From: senatordavid-jabi
To: Dad Anus
Sent: Wed, March 23, 2011 12:22:35 PM
Subject: Re: Goog God, man! Why have you not sent me that postal address yet?
Sir the only option that we accept is western union or money gram.
The policy cannot be change because you. Bear in mind that you are not the only person going through this.
If you are ready to receive the inheritance follow my directives I will not disappoint you. The receipt of the western union or money gram that you pay will be used to issue the waiver clearance on your behalf in our high court here.
If you send the money by mailing it will take couple of weeks before it will get here. We don’t accept payment by mailing for security reasons.
Dnia 24 marca 2011 4:57 Dad Anus
No. I checked with the US Postal Service. They tell me a package can get to you within a week, and they can even insure it.
I'll gladly pay you double, if you accept cash. What do you say?
-Dad Anus
From: senatordavid-jabi
To: Dad Anus
Sent: Thu, March 24, 2011 4:41:16 AM
Subject: Re: Goog God, man! Why have you not sent me that postal address yet?
You cannot teach me what to do. If you cannot follow my directives please forget about the funds. I have nothing to lose. You are the beneficiary how you could send money through courier for this modern world.
I don’t think that you are serious. Keep on going through the back door it cannot help you.
Dnia 8 kwietnia 2011 3:42 Dad Anus
Hey asshole. Where are you?
Why are you ignoring me, asshole?
***********************************************************
So, long about this time, things go quiet for a bit, which I find absolu-u-u-u-utely unacceptable. So, I just decide to lay the bullshit on thick, and a la weirdo:
From:
Dad Anus
To: senatordavid-jabi
The money aside, I need some advice. Quite frankly, you're one of the only friends I have, here in this wheelchair. ( I aint really in a wheelchair. I'm just a dick.) I'm hoping we can overlook this whole ugly business with the money, and help me please. I've really nowhere else to turn.
There's this girl, you see. I really like her. I think she likes me, too. She's really great.
Just one small thing stands in the way: My cat, Rocky. I don't think Rocky likes her.
The last time she was over, Rocky didn't eat for three days after. I really love that cat, but I'm also very interested in this girl. And there's my dilemma.
Do you think I should perhaps just lock Rocky in the basement the next time she plans to come over? Or, should I just go ahead and kill rocky?
I'm so confused. Please help me with this.
Oh yeah. What was your mailing address again?
And what does idiot-boy send me as a reply?
Re: Hey asshole. Why are you ignoring me? I sent my payment.
From:
senatordavid-jabi senatordavid-jabi@o2.pl
To: Dad Anus
Go to hell bastard.
Well, how else can I reply, but a little half-bent?
Dnia 11 kwietnia 2011 17:43 Dad Anus
No. Why should I?
Where's my money, you scammer?
And why won't you help me with my relationship advice, you sweaty prick?
Oh God. OH GOD!! I'm SORRY! Did I hurt your feelings?
(He's just got to know I'm an idiot now, right?)
So, this sad excuse for a dipshit tries dragging others into it:
To: Dad Anus
Sent: Thu, April 14, 2011 3:42:52 AM
Subject: Fuck your mother and sister with your daughter to make me happy fool.
Fuck your mother and sister with your daughter to make me happy fool.
************************************************
See, dumbass comes from a place where sex is still used as a weapon. So, the best threat his tiny, little, thief brain can contrive is to threaten my mother, sister, and daughter with sex...because this is what animals like this guy do...they abuse women just as much as they seek out greedy chumps in America.
So, what's the best way to get under shithead's skin? Insult his dick:
From:
Dad Anus
To: senatordavid-jabi senatordavid-jabi@o2.pl
You're a little bit too inadequate for my mother and sister, I do believe. That's what I hear about all Nigerian men, anyway.
So, you're not going to send me my inheritance from uncle Richard Anus?
Will you still at least help me with my relationship advice?
I guess a little man with itty-bitty baby dick like you wouldn't have enough experience with women old enough to give consent for you to have anything to offer, huh? Besides, I don't think any of them like flaccid, little gay men like you.
So, after I Western Onioned you the money you requested, you're not going to help Me get my inheritance?
Now I'm a gonna have to break out the woop-ass.
See you around, little man.
********************************************************
I could be wrong, but we may get the pleasure of hearing from dumb-ass again, soon.
Here's to looking forward to wasting his motherfucking time.
These posts are a documentation of an exchange between myself and an idiot, which begins here.
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