Sep 29, 2011

Gearing up for April Fool's Day: Give me your ideas

I know it's not even October yet, as of this posting. But I want to start as early as possible on averaging one April Fool's Day suggestion per day, by the time the day arrives. So, I'm starting this up early...way early! Ultimately, it's my goal to reach 1 million readers by April, by simply asking everyone who reads this, to just share it with 2 others, who do the same. That's all. Help me fulfill a dream, without spending a penny, or risking losing a thing.

I'll share a couple ideas of my own, if you'll put one of yours in the comment section, and maybe give this post a share or Stumble. When commenting, a sponsor page will come up. In 5 seconds, you click “skip ad” and the comment form comes up. Give us your best suggestions, pranks, tips or whatever. Readers will come by here forever. So, please use the mouth you type to your momma with, okay? Thanks, from all of us.

Two pranks you can play on your best friends April Fool's Day:

1. This one takes friends. If you have a half-dozen or so, get them all together, along with the uninformed subject of the joke together in any one setting and ask the subject:

“Q: How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse?” Your fellow conspirators start giggling, as does the subject. That's all part of it, even though the subject has no Earthly idea what is so damn funny.

They'll likely reply, something like: “I don't know. How many?”

“A: Six! You know why?! Because ICE CREAM HAS NO BONES! Like it's just the funniest danged old joke you could've ever told! At this point, your fellow conspirators laugh like it is too. Even have one or two of them laugh so hard they snort. The aim of the joke is for the subject to find themselves in a situation where they don't want to be the only person who doesn't get, what is impossible to get. It makes no damn sense, but nobody wants to be the one dummy who doesn't get it and therefore, can't keep up.

The funnier everybody responds to the joke as being, the harder our subject will try to laugh to “get it” as much as all the others do. The harder they try to fake laugh, the funnier it is, for real-real, for you and your fellow evil minions. The funnier it is for you all, the harder you'll laugh back, and the harder even more, our subject will try to keep up. All the while, not understanding what what in blazes was so funny, about such a pointless, stupid, non-sensical joke. The pain of their confusion is the aim of this joke. Only the rarest, most-precious sort of a person will be able to stand there and say, “Whiskey tango foxtrot?” I all but guarantee you a good gut-aching laugh for you and a lot of your co-workers or other pals.

2. My next gag tip only takes one other very good friend/conspirator, along with a subject (or 20) and it's a mind-bender. You'll laugh til you wanna puke: It will require some private rehearsal. It's more of a “performing art.”

One of the two actors gets the subject(s) to ask the other actor “How fast can your sister roller-skate?” Actor number 2 is very hurt, asking “Who told you to say that?” Use tears, be devastated. Actually sit down, on the floor, regardless of where you are-work-home-the park-the store. Sit there. Be upset and quiet for thirty seconds, other than asking who told them to ask them that, until they tell you. They me. Tell them ultimately, “My sister has no legs.” Say it in pain.

At that point, actor number 1 comes back into the scene (actor 2 uses a “You!” on sight), and a cruel, fake fight should break out after a scene of one person finding another person's pain funny. If you're doing this right, the subject(s) should actually hate actor 1 by now. Actors 1 and 2 should actually get into a physical scuffle, which doesn't stop no matter what, until both actors break out in laughter, and greet each other as if they're old friends. Subject(s) should be in tears by now, over the thought of so much cruelty and pain. Once subject(s) see(s) both actors are actually friends, both will be graduated to “Grade A Jackasses” in everyone's book, for around three months. Expect verbal derision, if it's done correctly, with an honest performance.

Okay. So there's two of my best April Fool's Day prank suggestions. I recommend them, for real. So, please remember to drop down to the comment link, “Skip ad” in 5 seconds, and leave your best April Fool's Day prank ideas for us all to read. It's my sincerest hope you and your buddies enjoy these and that you all have a fantastic and safe April Fool's Day this year and every other too. Leave me your prank suggestions! Dangit! :D I wanna average one a day by April Fool's Day! Help me out. At least Stumble this.

Florida Drug Testing for Welfare Recipients Costing More Than Planned

This piece caught all the rage on StumbleUpon, and almost went viral just a short while back. Sometimes, I guess people just need to see someone standing up, and hear them speak truth to power. I hope you enjoy it, too.
COMMENTARY | So convoluted and ridiculous is America's war on drugs that the governor of Florida has been able to convince state representatives to pass a law requiring welfare recipients to first be tested for illegal drug usage to get benefits. Wouldn't you know it, the inevitable court battles are already promising to cost Florida a huge pile of cash. So, how was this idea supposed to be a money-saving measure?

Before readers assume this lawsuit was brought about by some bum or dirty hippie on welfare, the plaintiff is a 35-year-old, attending college and a single parent who is also taking care of his disabled mother. His name is Luis Lebron and not only is he working on bettering his own life, he's one of those noble veterans that conservative types always insist we all show respect for. After being laid off from his job, he simply found himself needing help like so many others.

Think it's just Florida's liberal ACLU working against the illogical, discriminatory law requiring welfare recipients to submit to unreasonable search and seizure? It's not. There's this other little point I like to call "reality." Thus far, the Florida drug testing requirement has yielded only a 2 percent positive test result. That means two things for Florida residents:...go here for the rest.

Pass my three-word psychic test which I've had up since April of 2009

I placed my challenge before all the readers of the Yahoo Contributor Network last April of 2009. Not one, single, medium passed my challenge. It is simple, honest, and legitimate. The day I find the one professional or amateur psychic, I'll bring them anything they want!

Be aware my blog's sponsor's ads will display for five seconds before you go anywhere on this site. Follow "Skip ad" in 5 seconds to advance. I thank you just for visiting my blog's sharing of my "Three-Word Psychic Test."


Are you psychic? Are you a medium, clairvoyant or gifted towards the spiritual realm in any way? Before my Dad died, he told me that he has a three word code, that I'll immediately recognize, the odds of which anyone - even most that know me would never guess - that he could always use as a signal to me that it was him.

You might need a pair of crystal balls to pass this challenge. Now let me save 99.9975325% of you the trouble right now: Those three little words aren't "I love you." I know he did. So let's not waste any bandwidth with that. Right? Right!
Dad never specifically instructed me to publish the test through AC or any other site. But he asked me that if I do want to contact him, and if there really is anything over there, that would be how I'd know who I was hearing from. (If he'd known about performance bonuses, he'd have chewed me out for not having it published already. It's just taken me a while since it's a hard topic to...Go here for the rest.

Sep 27, 2011

That's enough of Blogsvertise for me: A company review

Many of you bloggers out there have no doubt heard of a company called “Blogsvertise.” I'm also fairly sure many of you have had wonderful experiences with them too. Just, not me. I've had issues from day one with how the staff is unresponsive to my questions, how they simply do not respond to my requests for help in my short experience with them.

I'm not going to try and discourage anyone from dealing with them. If you're the sort of website owner who needs to buy your back-links, they may very well be the best price out there for that sort of thing. If you're a blogger who's hoping to make an extra few (by “few” I mean $10, $20 or more) dollars a month for a minimal amount of work, again, these folks may be just what you need. But, I will not let myself be kicked in the teeth repeatedly. I don't really care WHO you claim to be.

The end of my relationship with Blogsvertise began as just another two rejected assignments. Usually, I read the feedback, edit accordingly and then re-submit. That's what I do with any site I write for. In these cases, the only feedback I saw was “PR1 blog or higher only.” Which led me to ask myself “Self, why did they send you these assignments if they wanted PR1 or higher blogs only?” It just wasn't making sense. Per normal with these folks. Besides that, my blog HAS a page rank of 1 and did at the time. No sense at all.

The first few questions I sent them were, as was typical for my personal experience, unanswered. Then, I began getting requests to log-in and either accept or reject the assignment(s). On logging in, I see a different reason for their various rejections, than I saw in their feedback messages to me.

Whenever I've communicated with the staff at this company, I get a different answer each time. Each time...different person...whole different set of rules...completely different answers. This entire company, and their handling of me seemed-to me anyway-about as consistent as un-congealed Jell-O®.

But what really served as the straw that broke the camel's back was a false accusation on the part of one employee. I have absolutely zero respect for anyone who makes a false accusation, in an effort to avoid accepting their own responsibility in f*cking up every single thing they ever touch. Without sharing every single communication I've ever had with someone from Blogsvertise, here's our latest couple of exchanges:

(Oh, BTW, really. Don't let my complaint about this company's treatment of me dissuade you from giving them a try. See for yourself what they're like. Maybe my complaint could very well make them aware of an existing problem and lead them to solving it. Heck, you might have a WONDERFUL experience with them. Just not me. I've found them to be woefully inadequate. And now, they resort to blatantly false accusations, rather than dealing squarely with grown-ups who have no time for silly bullshit. But you go right ahead. Give them a try for yourself.)

From: ""
Sent: Monday, September 26, 2011 4:40 PM
Subject: hello from XXX at blogsvertise
Hi Donald -
Just checking in with you on your account. We have some blog ad tasks assigned to you at your blog and did not hear back from you yet. In some cases our advertisers picked you specificly (sic) because they were impressed by your blog. If you could please signon (sic) here and either Accept or Decline (sic) your pending offers, I would really appreciate it.

Re: hello from XXX at blogsvertise

(Me, silly)
Monday, September 26, 2011 10:40 PM

You know what I'd really appreciate? Not being declined for having done exactly what the sponsor requested. I put the exact link in which I was asked to do. I used the keywords. And I still got declined. When I've encountered this in the past, I get a different answer to the same question, depending upon whom I ask.

Now that the post is up, the advertiser is getting a freebie from me. If I take it down, only to get all this resolved, I'll get declined for a repeat post, upon putting it back up. I have had the last two posts rejected for my blog not being PR1 or higher. If you folks want a PR1 or higher blog, 1) Why in hell did you send me this assignment? 2) I didn't see anything about the PR1 requirement when it was first sent to me.

If there's some other reason for which I get such a high rejection percentage, I'd really appreciate (and respect) being told what your company's REAL problem is with me. Can somebody there please "man up" and just tell me what their issue is with me? Because either this is something personal with me, y'all have no clue what you're doing or perhaps you're up to something.

Either way, spit it out. Because I am sick and tired of having my irreplaceable time wasted by your ineptitude. This message, and your reply is going on my blog, even if you should choose to make no comment. I'm no longer asking you folks to treat me professionally. I'm insisting on it. These silly games are for the birds.

So, in a desperate attempt to play all this like they're sooooooo innocent and wonderful and I am, in fact, the asshat in all of this, I get this reply from the previous agent's boss, or mother or something. LOL! The italicized parts in parenthesis are additional feedback I would've told New-Asshat-To-Deal-With, were she physically present. In fact, this one would've found me extremely argumentative. You'll see why in just a minute.
From: Brand-New-Asshat-To-Deal-With
Sent: Tuesday, September 27, 2011 10:37 AM
Subject: Recent Blogsvertise Rejections

I have been forwarded an email that you had originally sent to XXX. I'd
like to address your issues as clearly and specifically (Hey! She spelled “specifically" right! Congratulations!) as possible.

Upon checking your recent account activity, I am assuming that the posts
you are most recently referring to are for (client name #1) and (client name #2 No need to drag them into this, right?). I've found the respective entries you wrote for these advertisers on your blog and to be blunt they are both, in fact, done incorrectly/not according to the task notes. For both of these tasks,
the advertiser has specified link #1 as being a URL-based link. It is very clearly stated in the instructions what is meant by "URL-based link". Unfortunately, you did not include the URL-based link ordered in EITHER entry. (Yes I did you prattling moron.) Also for both entries, it gives instructions for TWO links; you've included more than two links in each of the entries. Moreover, some of the keyword/link combinations you used are not even in the task notes. Finally, your links do not direct to the advertiser's pages because they include the suffix "(another advertising program which doesn't deserve mud on their suit from standing too close to these lovely folks)" before the advertiser's actual URL.

These are the best suggestions anyone here can give you for future assignments: read task notes VERY carefully, as every advertiser in our system has different requirements; click and verify EACH link before submitting to ensure they are working correctly. (Great. Thanks Captain Obvious. I do that already. While it's true each advertiser has different terms, it's also true that you folks are incapable of training your employees. You forgot that part.)

Just so you know, neither of these entries were even rejected because of the Page Rank requirement; (That's not what the feedback said. It read “PR1 or higher only,” and nothing more.) in fact, your blog DOES meet the Page Rank requirement. Clearly, the order manager simply copied and pasted the original task notes as the rejection hoping that you would reread them, and this time more carefully. (Big, fat, Goddamn lie, right there.I saw no other feedback, anywhere. And I looked!) And I can assure you that these campaigns have each been running for quite a while (irrelevant) and the task notes have not changed in a very long time; the Page Rank requirement was always there. (AND, apparently that's all that's there, until you need to make another BS claim to cover your ass. LOL!)

(...and here's where new Asshat-To-Deal-With begins to over-answer herself, because she's full of crap, she knows it and therefore over-compensates in an effort to sound like she makes sense.) Also for future reference, the reason that we do put the Page Rank requirement in the task notes is so that bloggers that do not meet the Page Rank requirement do not waste their time writing for that particular advertiser. (Not really what I was even asking you about. But you're not the first to try using non-sequitur... Try including the other information you falsely claim to send out, too, Asshat.) Google updates Page Rank as infrequently as every 3 months and as frequently as every 3 days; there is no way our system can update 100,000 bloggers' Page Ranks every single day, as this would make our server run MUCH slower for you AND I. The Page Rank reminder is a courtesy to our bloggers, who frankly should be taking the task notes very seriously and reading them very carefully. (Not really sure what any of the rest of this has to do with the price of tea in China. But apparently, she wants self-vindication.)

If you truly believe somebody here has a personal vendetta against you, I'm sorry to say you are absolutely mistaken. (I love it when folks use terms like “absolutely” and “literally,” in an attempt to drive a point home. LOVE IT!)

(And here's my ABSOLUTELY favorite part!) However, you have made direct threats to Blogsvertise employees in the past and it will not be tolerated. (You goddamn liar! Now, I'm angry.)

Re: Recent Blogsvertise Rejections
(Me again. Boo!)
Brand New Asshat-to-Deal-With
Tuesday, September 27, 2011 11:21 AM

WHAT DIRECT THREATS HAVE I MADE, ASSHAT (Not her real name and not how I addressed her, BTW.)?

That is pure crap.

If you don't want my blog in your service, man up and say so.

But, don't you dare make a false accusation against me of making direct threats to anyone.

THAT is OBVIOUSLY not true. You take that back. I have NO respect for the type of mentality which resorts to false accusations rather than repairing flaws within their own system. Shame on you for that kind of mental weakness on your part.

How dare you try to attack my reputation, just because of your unwillingness/inability to operate what should be a simple, effective system.

As for your saying I've done the blog entries incorrectly, fine. I get a different answer every single time I talk to anyone. No surprise there.

Your team, as well as your pathetic management skills don't exactly personify "competency." Your system is also very difficult to navigate and not very user-friendly, at all.

But if you're going to lie and accuse me of making "direct threats to Blogsvertise employees in the past," then you have resorted to one of the lowest, pettiest and weakest strategies anyone could try for. There are fast-food workers out there with more professionalism than you. What in hell has inspired you to be so pathetic?

In fact, YOU are the one making a threat to me. YOU are the one who will not be tolerated. So, don't even bother to try and take your BLATANT LIE back.

The only threat you face from me is my putting this discussion up on my blog.

Just pay me for the tasks you already owe me for, at their appropriate time-frame, and then we shall part company. I do not associate with the sorts who resort to lies and false accusations. There are far too many decent people in this world to deal with, than to settle for the lack of professionalism, courtesy or even basic competency which your company representatives have demonstrated repeatedly.


I guess New-Asshat-To-Deal-With wasn't very pleased with my response, so she sent this message to me:

From: New-Asshat-To-Deal-With
Sent: Tuesday, September 27, 2011 11:56 AM
Subject: Re: Recent Blogsvertise Rejections

I'm not quite sure why you are continuing to tell me to "man up" and
admit to some personal grudge that myself or another Blogsvertise
employee has against you. No such grudge exists.

You HAVE used derogatory language to a colleague of mine in the past
who, like you, took the attack very personally and was rendered very
upset by your words.

The reason you've heard different answers each and every time you've
inquired about a task is because, as I said in my previous email, EACH
and EVERY advertiser, and even each and every ORDER that an advertiser
places, is different. This is precisely why EACH and EVERY task is
accompanied by a set of unique task notes which you, as a paid blogger,
are required to read and adhere to. (That doesn't explain why I heard conflicting information from different agents on the SAME assignments. But, why confuse this girlie with facts? Her mind is made up. Right?)

Expect a call from a manager regarding how we plan to move forward with
your account.

(Yeah! Uhhh...I don't think so! What part of "YOU are the one who will not be tolerated" does she not understand? So I replied:)

Re: Recent Blogsvertise Rejections


Me, again



Tuesday, September 27, 2011 1:24 PM

"Derogatory language" and "direct threat" each have different definitions.

I don't need the phone call. You made a false accusation. So, I know where I'm going.

She just tried calling. I told her what I thought.

You are a sad sack of crap. That's not a threat. That's a derogatory remark, in case you don't know your English.

Sep 18, 2011

If Ron Paul is winning so many Straw Polls - as in California - WHY is the American media trying so hard to ignore him?

Once again, the American people have spoken in favor of our candidate, Congressman Ron Paul of Texas. And for once, a mainstrem media news outlet had to cover it. "It" being only the California Straw Poll.

Yes friends, you read that right. According to themselves, Congressman Ron Paul of Texas has won the California Straw Poll for the Republican nomination, to run against Incumbent President Barack Obama in 2012 presidential election.

So, what was the reason the mainstream media decided to discuss any and every other candidate for the Republican nod, other than the good doctor? Why is the experienced, qualified, non-pandering, honest, non-psychopath, who has held a real job, and is not an attorney, not a reasonable candidate? Why on Earth would anyone claiming any sort of ties to conservatism in America, not want President Ron Paul elected as our Commander-in-Chief? Why not try the path of peace, just one time, and see how things go for us.

Let's pull out of these foreign shores, and so many other foreign interests, and close the Fed. We need to remember what keeps us Uniquely American, is one specific document which purposefully limits the power and scope of government in the United States. Dr Paul remembers it. We call it the Constitution, and it is the law of the land.

Ron Paul scares the establishment media. His quest, his promise to remember our individual liberties, and to remember the Constitution, make Congressman Ron Paul the people's candidate. He certainly is mine. He has my vote. Heck. Congressman Ron Paul is the only candidate I've ever bet money on. (And I'm paid up, :D just in case.)

Sep 17, 2011

I don't just deal with any vendor for my biggest web dreams: The best deals on servers

Not knowing my way around the server universe, as far as getting a site up and running or not, I have to turn to friends whom I trust. I only ask of those who I know to be straight up about which company(ies) treat(s) them the best. They have nothing in it to cheat for.

I ask my friends about what companies they deal with, and only those they deal with. There are no affiliate link recommendations here. Nobody is “pushing” you towards a link that anyone involved with in this article, makes a cent upon. We are unbiased. I'm earning the same on this coverage, whether you deal with anyone, or not. I, personally, am also unbiased.

On asking about where to find the best overall deal on ordering servers,out of twelve associates of mine, all who wish to remain anonymous, mentioned five, out of the twelve respondents, more than once. Out of those five, one company handling servers was mentioned the most. They're not even asking for link-back on this. Their opinion, like I said, is impartial.

On visiting their site, I see equipment competitively priced. Shipping arrangements and pages laid out properly. They might be mentioned the most to me, for good reason. When the time is right, they'll be my pick.

Free paper rater for every writer- Students and pros alike!

I don't care what sort of writer you are, or why you're writing. It's not important whether the document is a grant request, or you're first submission in a creative writing lab. The piece has to work correctly, no matter whom it is for. Grading our own work, or even that of our friends is a huge time-consuming hassle. We have the technology. Why not use it? This simple paper-rater program works on any type of documents readability, punctuation, grammar and spelling. Anyone who writes knows what sort of a set-back it is to be rejected on a technicality. Spare yourself the pain.

How to win, repeatedly, at Roulette and walk away with a profit!

Roulette is Easy to Beat If It's Played Right. Lots of folks try their hand at playing the numbers at casinos around the nation. Meanwhile lots of casinos make a lot of money from those vacationing tourists. The reason people lose at playing the numbers is that they're playing the numbers. Start on a table with a low minimum and a high maximum. No limit tables would be ideal. Just like everything else in life the ideal is so rare...Read the rest here.

Sep 2, 2011

Prospect KY

Thanks for the post from Barney Crosby

Visiting my grandmother, who is one of the few farmers left in Prospect, Kentucky is like going back in time. Life is slow and she does things the old fashioned way. She rarely has company during the week. On my most recent visit, the only person that visited the farm during the week was the Prospect KY Satellite Tv Dealer. She and my grandfather work hard all day during the week. They eat a big breakfast, lighter lunch, and even lighter dinner. They rise at five o’clock in the morning and are in bed by eight o’clock in the evening. When I was younger, I never liked to visit and stay the week because I always got bored. Now, I enjoy visiting because it is a welcome break from the fast paced lifestyle of my current city, New York. My grandparents reserve the weekends for outings. They visit with friends after going to the farmer’s market on Saturdays. They have friends and family over for a big lunch on Sundays after church. Just thinking about my grandparent’s farm makes me relaxed.

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